not sleeping again

I'm still not sleeping very well. Five nights now. Last night, instead of going to bed on time, I stayed up and got very tired. Then I started to cry. Once I started crying, then I couldn't sleep. Vicious cycle. I felt very depressed about everything. I felt very alone and isolated, probably like Chris felt, but my depression is because of him. I hate that the main thing I remember about Chris is his death.